I Just Cannot Finish This Book Because...

There are many different reasons why we may not finish a book that we are reading. Other than losing interest the other big reason for me is that I'm afraid of either the book series to be over or that a character that I love might die. I am sure all of us book lovers faced this problem at some point.


I never realized how afraid I was to finish a book until I started to read A Court of Wings and Ruin by Sara J. Maas. It didn't hit me until I read the teaser for it shortly after I finished A Court of Mist and Fury. I had preordered the book and got tickets to attend the book signing for my town. I was excited to read what would happen in the book. The book signing was amazing and I was feeding off of everyone’s excitement. The next day I started to read the book and with each chapter's end, I was relieved when no one I cared about died. It took me almost two months to read it.

So why was I left with this fear of one of the characters I've gotten to know the last year since I discovered this series and fell in love with this world? It was one book, Allegiant by Veronica Roth. Its the 3rd book in the Divergent series. So what happened in this book that makes me fear reading or finishing books?  If you haven't read this series I'm going to spoil it for you. It was Tris' death. I've read many books where the antagonist dies so why did this one scar me so badly that I emotionally could not handle the loss of Rhysand or Feyre? I saw so much of myself in Tris. In a weird way, I saw myself in her. Felt like I could be her if I was born in that world. And when she died I didn't take it hard because it would make me dead, but it felt all wrong. He death seemed meaningless and not needed. I felt betrayed as a reader who saw so much of herself in Tris.

That was one of the few times I have ever almost thrown a book against a wall. I didn't plus I was reading it on my Kindle so throwing that would have broken it with how angry I was. I finished the book because the completist in me wouldn't let me leave it unfinished especially with how little was left. This has scarred me that if I'm very attached to any characters I'm terrified for them to die.

So each time I picked up A Court of Wings and Ruin I prayed and hoped that our beloved characters would not die. I could handle their heartbreaks and fears, but not their deaths. I didn't want to have to relive losing Tris all over again, but this time with Feyre. I do identify with Feyre as well that I would be heartbroken if anything happens to her. 

Anyone else shares this feeling? Has a book left you so emotionally drained that you can not finish it or pick up the next book because your heart just cannot take it?